The Big Issue : Edition 538
46 THEBIGISSUE2–15JUN2017 CLICK WORDS BY MICHAEL EPIS » PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY OF VH-1 NEXT EDITION OF THE BIG ISSUE IS COOKIN’ FRIDAY 16 JUNE Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg, 2016 “SMELLS GOOD. WHAT is this again?” Snoop Dogg asks Martha Stewart as they get down in the kitchen on her show Martha Stewart Living. “Mashed potatoes,” she answers. “You want put black pepper on top?” he asks. “We got white pepper here,” Martha answers. Snoop laughs; Martha goes right on cooking. So was born an unlikely friendship – America’s original TV domestic goddess with one of rap’s original bad boys. Sampling the fare, Snoop, never afraid of a stereotype’s comic value, pronounces: “I need some chicken wings.” The two, however, do have one thing in common – jail. In 2004 Stewart was incarcerated for five months for offences related to using insider information to offload shares whose value was about to fall. Snoop was in and out of jail for three years after high school, for drug offences. Then, while recording his first album, Doggystyle, in 1993, his bodyguard shot and killed a man, while a passenger in a car Snoop was driving. Snoop was charged with murder. Not guilty, said the jury. Both have been denied entry to the UK – Martha, because of her conviction; Snoop, because of a brawl between his crew and police at Heathrow. Snoop and Martha renewed their acquaintance at Justin Bieber’s roast two years ago, where Martha gave the Beeb advice on surviving jail. “When I did my stretch, all the hood rats on my cell block wanted to break off a piece of Martha Stewart’s ass,” she said. “So I decided some bitch needed to get got. I walked into the chow hall, picked out the biggest bull dyke and I stuck her.” A year later Martha had Snoop back to bake Christmas cookies, with 12 ounces of something or other. “We got some ounces in the building,” Snoop says in delight. They were back at it on a TV game show, where Martha described home objects and Snoop had to name them. Credenza, ottoman, sconce, wainscotting, duvet, foyer, sham – Snoop reels ’em off. A fabulous vocab is appropriate for a man born Cordozar Calvin Broadus Jr. So that’s how this duo come to have their own show – Martha & Snoop’s Potluck Dinner Party. Really.