The Big Issue : Edition 546
THEBIGISSUE22SEP–5OCT2017 19 Mostly A Relax. You’re more than likely human. Assume you’ll live beyond four, and that your memories are really your own. You should be okay. Mostly B Okay. There’s a slim chance you’re a bad guy. It might be time to take the replicant-identifying Voight-Kampff test. You see a tortoise on its back. Why don’t you turn it over? Mostly C I hate to break it to you, but expect to see Ryan Gosling’s dumb-handsome face sometime in the next four years. And although he’s there to kill you, just be thankful he won’t sing. So that’s the end of our quiz. Time for us to email it to the editor, let the magazine go to press. Soon the magazine will come out, be sold, be forgotten. All these sentences will be lost in time...like tears in the rain. Time to file. Describe in single words only the good things that come to your mind about Harrison Ford’s voice over in the original Blade Runner movie. A. It was okay I guess. B. Is this part of the test? C. His voice over? I’ll tell you about his voice over... 4 7 How do you feel about seeing Blade Runner 2049? A. Excited – should be good. B. Worried – bound to trigger bad memories. C. Not going – just more cruelty to replicants. Origami makes me: A. Think of my childhood. B. Think of my “childhood”. C. Uneasy. 5 You see a YouTube clip of kittens playing with a ball of wool. How does it make you feel? A. All gooey inside. Kittens! B. Are they feline robotics? Marvel at lifelike technology, advances in AI. C. Lucky shits – they get 10 to 15 good years, at least. 6 YOUR RESULTS ON THE REPLICANT SCALE The hilarious story of a Blade Runner and the first ever replicant bobsled team. What could go wrong?!