The Big Issue : Edition 565
THEBIGISSUE.ORG.AU 29 JUN–12 JUL 2018 13 PHOTOSBYJAMESBRAUND MEN, TIRED OF being blamed for all the problems in the world? Particularly the ones caused by men? Bro, I feel you. It must be super frustrating being lumped in with all the other problematic penis owners when you’ve never raped or murdered a single lady, and sometimes even help with the washing up. You’re one of The Good GuysTM , so why are the women shouting at you when you explain that they’re not going to get anywhere being cranky? You’re just trying to help – insert shrug here – and there they are, arcing up like you’re the problem. I bet you’re feeling a bit huffy. #notallmen, amirite? I get it, it’s hard to know how to behave. It’s so confusing! I wasn’t even sure if I should write this, what with it already being three weeks since Eurydice Dixon was raped and killed on her way home from a stand-up gig in Melbourne’s CBD. With the 24-hour media cycle, and an Australian woman being killed every week anyway, it’s hardly “news”, is it? No more than Carlton losing again! LOLZ. But then I thought, no, no, she’s still dead, so probs worth 650 words. If I’ve taken anything away from the past couple of weeks, it’s that men get very sad when women point out to them that, what with rape and murder lurking theatrically around every corner, it’s terrible being a lady and could men help turn the good ship Misogyny around? Turns out men can be defensive and emotional, too, so we have stacks more in common than you realised! Anyway, here’s a few hot tips on how best to deal with this aggravating New World Order where you rationally explain to women how they’re over- reacting by asking all men to take responsibility for male violence, and women mysteriously tell you to go fuck yourself. First tip: Whatever you do, refuse to budge an inch until all women acknowledge that there are plenty of Good GuysTM out there. Also that Not All Men are rapists and murderers, » Fiona Scott-Norman (@FScottNorman) is a writer, comedian and good tipper. FIONA The Good GuysTM “You’re one of The Good GuysTM, so why are the women shouting at you when you explain that they’re not going to get anywhere being cranky?” that men suffer violence at the hands of men too, and it really doesn’t help when women blame men for male violence because it gets the men offside. You can’t emphasise all that enough. Women, being predisposed to motherhood, have infinite patience, and it’s no problem for us to take hours out of our day to unpack why it would be nice if you could stop making it about you and your personal non-rapeiness (extra points if you mention your mother or daughter!), and start brainstorming active ways you can help dismantle rape culture. You being permanently stuck on #notallmen like a scratched record doesn’t make us want to bang our heads against the fridge at all. Also, no hurry. Male violence has been around for, like, forever, so the issue will still be waiting when you decide to get woke. Secondly: Please keep reminding us to “take responsibility for our own safety”. We’ve never thought of being hypervigilant before! Amazing considering there are no safe places, given the majority of murders happen in our homes, getting into a cab is a crap-shoot, and random dudes who are much stronger have been grinding their peens up against us since we hit puberty. It’s never crossed our minds to think about self-care until you mentioned it, so thanks bro. Job done. You’re an actual warrior. Finally: Do not let go of the idea that “this is just how it is”. Some men are clearly evil and degenerate – not you obv, we’ve covered that – and that is terrible, but it’s no-one’s fault. They’re just...outliers. Male entitlement has nothing to do with it. Women will totally get that you would help if only there were anything you could do. Gosh, what a shame there isn’t. Anyhoo, I know it’s been a tough time for you, so hope this helps! Take care, okay?