The Big Issue : Edition 442
46 THe Big issue 27 seP – 10 OCT 2013 Dear Quick Fix, Over the years, my husband and I have tried many strategies to stop our young daughter mixing up ‘specific’ and ‘Pacific’. We’ve tried hypnotherapy, we’ve tried light electrocution techniques, we’ve tried filling an empty Windex sprayer with imported Pacific seawater and squirting her face every time she errs. We’ve even tried to cure her via Rodgers and Hammerstein. (It didn’t work. years after we took her to the famous musical, she still reminisces about South Specific. Very disappointing, since her father and I spent a fortune on merchandise and wore our South Pacific parachute tracksuits for a whole month after the show to reinforce the message.) The situation seems to be getting worse. I don’t know if we can keep fighting this. What should we do? Non-pacifist Parent Dear Non-pacifist Parent, She is doing it on purpose. I’d say that what began for your daughter as a genuine and harmless childhood mix-up has turned into a campaign of deliberate adolescent rebellion. Why is your daughter behaving like this? Well, it’s because her parents are Windex trigger-happy thugs who wear Rodgers and Hammerstein-themed shell suits. After years of cruel treatment she is fighting back – and good for her. In the short term, I hope the resistance continues. In the long term, I hope your daughter finds the happiness she richly deserves and gets as far away from both of you as possible. If I were her, I would consider rebuilding my life on a distant and picturesque tropical island, pacifically Bora Bora or Tahiti. Quick Fix » Got a REAL problem? Quick Fix can’t help you. She has problems of her own, which you can follow on the @squickens Twitter feed. Writer sophie quick » illuStrator michael Weldon QuICK FIX #19 The Specific Solution The WOMEN’S SUBSCRIPTION ENTERPRISE Creative:thebluegroupPhoto:AndrewGoldie. See the change one subscription can make to the lives of disadvantaged women. A yearly subscription to The Big Issue magazine helps women like change their lives; receiving ongoing training, mentoring, support and an income as she packs and wraps magazines for subscriptions. Visit or call to subscribe.